After a funeral there are people to thank: the ones who sent flowers, who cooked, who drove for hours, who sat with you. Most families want to, and most are too tired to know where to start. This page gives you the words. There are one-line acknowledgements for the program, notes of three lengths for cards, and wording for a notice in the newspaper or online, with none of them assuming anything about your family or your faith. Take any of it as it is, or change a word or two so it sounds like you.
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Our funeral program format page has a few acknowledgement lines for the back cover. This page goes further: the cards you send afterwards, and the people who are easy to forget.
Where thanks go
- The program. One or two sentences on the back cover thank everyone at once, on the day. Every guest reads it.
- Cards afterwards. A short handwritten note to the people who did something particular: flowers, food, a donation, a reading, a long drive, care at the end.
- A notice in the newspaper or online. A "card of thanks" to a whole community, when there are too many people to write to, or when a town turned out.
There is no deadline
People will tell you thank-you cards go out within a few weeks. That is a custom, not a rule. Nobody who sent flowers is counting the days, and a note that arrives three months later is just as welcome. Do them a few at a time, when you have an evening, and let other people in the family share them out. If you never get to all of them, the people you missed will understand.
Who to thank, and how to keep track
Start a list while things are still fresh. The funeral home's guest book, the little cards that came with the flowers, the charity's letters confirming donations, and the dishes left in your kitchen will tell you most of it. The people families most often want to thank:
- Everyone who sent flowers or a plant.
- Everyone who made a donation in their name. The charity usually tells you who gave, not how much; you thank them for the gift, not the amount.
- Everyone who brought food or looked after your house, children or pets.
- People who travelled a long way.
- The pallbearers, the readers, the musicians and anyone who spoke.
- The person who led the service.
- The nurses, carers, doctors and hospice or care-home staff who looked after them.
- The funeral director and staff, if they were kind.
- Their employer or colleagues, and yours, if they sent something or covered for you.
- Anyone who could not come but wrote.
One card per household is enough.
How to write one
Three sentences will do it. Name the thing they did. Say what it meant. Sign your name. A card does not need to be long to be felt; it needs to be true. If you are using a pre-printed card, one handwritten line at the bottom turns it into a personal one.
Use their name, the person who died, when you write. People want to see it. "Thank you for the lilies you sent for Eleanor" is warmer than "thank you for the flowers".
Short: one or two lines
For the back cover of the program, a pre-printed acknowledgement card, or the top of a longer note.
- "The family of Eleanor Rose Whitfield thanks you for your presence today, and for every kindness shown to us."
- "Thank you for being here. It means more than we can say."
- "We are grateful for every card, call, meal and visit. Your love has carried us."
- "Your kindness in these past weeks has been a comfort to us all. Thank you."
- "Eleanor would have loved to see you all in one room. Thank you for coming."
- "With grateful hearts, we thank you for honouring Eleanor's life with us today."
- "Thank you for the flowers, the food, the messages and the memories you have shared. We are so grateful."
- "We cannot thank each of you as we would wish, so please accept this as our heartfelt thanks."
- "The family of Eleanor is deeply grateful for your love, your prayers and your many kindnesses." (For a family that prays; change "your prayers" to "your thoughts" if not.)
Medium: a card for a particular kindness
Each of these is a complete note. Change the names and the details so they are true.
For flowers
"Dear Ruth, thank you for the roses you sent for Eleanor's service. They were the first thing we saw when we came into the church, and they were exactly her colour. It meant a great deal to have something so beautiful from you. With love, Sarah, Daniel and Anne."
For a donation in their name
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Lane, thank you for your gift to [organization] in Eleanor's memory. She gave her time to them for years and would be so pleased to know the work goes on. Your thoughtfulness has touched us all. With gratitude, the Whitfield family."
For food, or looking after the house
"Dear Priya, we have eaten better this month than we have in years, and every dish arrived at exactly the moment we could not face cooking. Thank you for feeding us, and for the quiet way you did it. You have been a true friend. Love, Anne."
For travelling a long way
"Dear James, thank you for coming all the way from [city] to be with us. Seeing you walk in lifted something in all of us, and Mum would have been thrilled. Thank you for making the journey. With love, Sarah."
For a pallbearer
"Dear Michael, thank you for carrying Eleanor. It is not an easy thing to be asked, and you did it with such care. We are grateful to you for that, and for the years of friendship before it. Warmly, the Whitfield family."
For a reader, a musician or a speaker
"Dear Emma, thank you for reading at the service. Your voice was steady when ours could not have been, and the passage you read is one we will always hear in your voice now. Thank you. Love, Aunt Anne."
For the person who led the service
"Dear [name], thank you for leading Eleanor's service with such warmth. You spoke about her as if you had known her for years, and you made a hard day gentler for everyone in the room. We are very grateful. The Whitfield family."
For nurses, carers and hospice or care-home staff
"To the staff of [ward or home], thank you for the care you gave Eleanor in her last weeks, and for the kindness you showed us when we sat with her. You treated her with dignity to the very end, and you made sure she was never alone. We will not forget it. With deep gratitude, the Whitfield family."
For the funeral director and staff
"Dear [name] and the team at [funeral home], thank you for guiding us through a week none of us knew how to get through. Every detail was handled before we could worry about it, and you were patient with every question. We are grateful. The Whitfield family."
For colleagues or an employer
"To everyone at [workplace], thank you for the flowers, for the card with all of your names, and for covering for me so that I could be with my family. Coming back to such kindness has made a hard return easier. Thank you. Daniel."
For someone who could not come
"Dear Peter, thank you for your letter. We understood completely that you could not be there, and your words about Eleanor made us laugh and cry in equal measure. We read them aloud to each other at the kitchen table. Thank you for knowing her so well. With love, Sarah."
For someone who helped with the arrangements
"Dear Lucas, we could not have done this without you. You made the calls, you drove, you sat with the printer at midnight, and you never once let us see how tired you were. Thank you for carrying so much of this for us. All our love from all of us, Sarah, Daniel and Anne."
Long: when a card is not enough
For the people who were there through all of it, or whose care at the end you want to acknowledge properly. These run to a page; write them by hand if you can.
To a close friend who was there throughout
Dear Ruth,
I have started this note three times, because there is no good way to thank you for the last six months. You came every Tuesday. You sat with Eleanor when I could not, you knew when to talk and when to leave the television on, and you kept bringing those awful biscuits she loved. In the last week you were there as much as we were.
At the service, when I looked up and saw you in the second row, I knew we would get through the day. You have been her friend for fifty years and you have been ours for all of this. We love you, and we are grateful beyond words.
With all our love,
Sarah, Daniel and Anne
To a hospice, ward or care home
To everyone on [ward or home],
Our family wants you to know what your care meant to us. Eleanor spent her last three weeks with you, and in that time she was never in pain that you could prevent, never left waiting, and never once treated as anything less than the person she was. You learned her name on the first day. You learned ours by the second. You brought her the extra blanket before she asked, and you brought us tea at two in the morning without a word.
She was a nurse herself for thirty-four years, and she would have recognized what you did for her as the very best of the work. So do we.
Thank you, from all of us.
The Whitfield family
To the person who organized everything
Dear Lucas,
Now that the house is quiet, I want to say properly what I could only say in passing last week. You held this together. Every time one of us faltered, you had already made the call, found the form, or sorted the thing we were dreading. You did it quietly, and you did it while grieving your grandmother as much as any of us.
Your grandmother used to say you were the one who got things done. She was right, and she would have been proud of you this week. Thank you for carrying us. We will not forget it.
With love and gratitude,
Aunt Sarah
A notice in the newspaper or online
A card of thanks in the local paper, the funeral home's website or a community page thanks a whole town at once. Newspapers charge by the line or the word, so shorter costs less. The usual form: the family's name as a heading, the thanks, then the family's names or "The family of". Here are three lengths.
Short
"WHITFIELD. The family of the late Eleanor Rose Whitfield wishes to thank relatives, friends and neighbours for their kindness, cards, flowers and donations following our recent loss. Your support has meant a great deal to us all."
Medium
"WHITFIELD, Eleanor Rose. The family of the late Eleanor Whitfield would like to thank everyone who supported us following her death on September 30. Thank you to all who sent cards, flowers and donations, to those who brought food and visited, and to everyone who attended the service. Special thanks to the staff of [ward or home] for their care in Eleanor's final weeks, to [name] for a service that was so true to her, and to [funeral home] for their kindness and guidance. We are grateful to you all. Sarah, Daniel, Anne and families."
Long
"WHITFIELD, Eleanor Rose. The family of Eleanor Rose Whitfield, who died peacefully on September 30, 2026, wish to express our heartfelt thanks to everyone who has supported us. We are grateful to our relatives, friends and neighbours for the cards, calls, visits, flowers and food that have sustained us; to all who made donations to [organization] in Eleanor's memory; to the doctors, nurses and staff of [ward or home] for the compassion and dignity with which they cared for her; to [name] for leading a service that captured who she was; to [name] and [name] for their readings and music; to the pallbearers; and to [funeral home] for their patience and professionalism. To everyone who attended the service and the reception, thank you for celebrating her life with us. Eleanor loved this community and was loved by it in return. We will remember your kindness always. Sarah Whitfield-Brooks, Daniel Whitfield, Anne Whitfield and their families."
Words of faith, or not
If your family prays, say so: "your prayers", "the Mass cards", "the comfort of your prayers at this time", "we felt God's love through you". If your family does not, "your thoughts", "your kindness" and "your love" say the same thing. When you write to one person, match the words to them rather than to you: a believing friend will be glad to be thanked for their prayers, and a friend who does not pray will be glad you did not assume.
Signing off
- From the whole family: "The family of Eleanor Rose Whitfield", "The Whitfield family", or the first names in order: "Sarah, Daniel and Anne".
- From one person: your first name, and your relationship to the person if the reader might not know it: "Anne, Eleanor's daughter".
- Closings that fit: "With gratitude", "With love", "Warmly", "With heartfelt thanks", "Gratefully", "With love and thanks".
A few things that help
- A pre-printed card with one handwritten line is a personal card. Nobody expects a letter.
- One card per household, addressed to everyone in it.
- Do not apologize for the time it took. Just thank them.
- Keep the list of who sent what somewhere you can find it. Tick people off as you go.
- Many families tuck a prayer card or memorial card into each thank-you note as a keepsake. Our Pressed Garden prayer card is made for this: their photo on the front, a verse or a few lines on the back, 2.5 × 4.25 inches, printed six to a sheet at home.
- For the program itself, the thank-you goes on the back cover with the reception details. The Pressed Garden funeral program has the space laid out, and our how-to guide shows where to type it.
Our funeral thank-you cards come in three designs that match our programs and prayer cards: Pressed Garden, Chapel Light and Timberline. Each has their photo and "Thank you" on the front, and on the back a short message you can change to any of the wording above, with room to sign. They are 4.25 × 5.5 inches, print four to a Letter sheet at home or at a print shop, and fit a standard A2 envelope.
Not sure what to say to someone in particular? Email hello@memorialpaper.com and tell us who they are and what they did. We will help you find the words.